Well…the 5k came and went. While others were up early Saturday morning to watch the royal wedding, I was getting ready for the race. Ok, I stopped and watched long enough to see the wedding dress. Classy and beautiful!
It was raining steadily in the early morning, but when dawn broke it was just a drizzle. I met my friend at the parking lot of a local restaurant so we could carpool to the race.
By the time we got there, the rain had stopped. It was barely chilly, maybe a teeny bit humid. Nothing to complain about really. By the time the rest of the group arrived, it started misting again. The course went through the apple orchard, and it was pretty muddy in some spots. There went my bright yellow Saucony’s! Lol!
As a group, we decided to pay extra for the hungry runner medal, which meant we had to eat a plain donut at each mile marker. Ummmm, yeeeaaah….the idea sounded good when we signed up. But trying to quickly down a donut and wash it down with water…
I only ate half of each donut (they were delicious!). I was already struggling with just the running. My word!!
We had planned to run for two minutes, and walk for one. Two people on our team have never run so I guess my expectation was that I would be the one encouraging them. However, these two ladies are the ones I’ve talked about before that walk super fast during our walks at work. So, I really shouldn’t have assumed that they would be left behind. Smh!
I was the interval tracker. We walked for five minutes as a warmup. But I started having trouble keeping up with everyone from the get-go. Man they walk fast!! So that was the first mental roadblock I hit. I can’t even keep up with them when they’re walking! How the hell was I going to keep up with them running?
But I tried to keep up, until we started the first two minute interval. Off we went, with me in third place trying to keep up with the other “runners” in our group. The fast walking ladies were right behind me. I was never more grateful than I was at that moment when the first walk interval started. Then the super walkers caught up to me in 0.001 nano-seconds. And then they passed me.
The second run interval started, and off we go, running and weaving around other walkers/runners. I’m sure ya’ll know how tiring it is to do that! I ran harder just so I could pass the walking ladies, which I barely did. But those two intervals just zapped my energy, and my morale.
I couldn’t do it! I couldn’t keep up with everyone, and I could barely run. The mud, and slick grass made it even more difficult. I finally accepted the fact that I was not prepared to really run at all.
That’s when everyone’s role changed. I was no longer the one that had more training hours under her belt than the others. I was no longer the one that had been running longer than four out of five people. Nope, somewhere along that beautiful orchard, I became the anchor slowing everyone down. I became the old fat lady that was struggling to keep up. Once I saw this role change, and how some of the group were taking turns walking with me because “they weren’t going to leave me behind,” well that pretty much killed any notion I had about myself as a runner.
I let those thoughts engulf me, and I was no longer having fun. While the others were walking and talking, and laughing and running, I started to get more irritated, and down on myself. They didn’t take this seriously. They were there to have fun. We stopped and took group pictures when we got to the donut station. I don’t know why I didn’t allow myself to just let go, and enjoy the experience!
My ego got the best of me. I thought I was going to go in, and show everyone that I was a runner, and that I was there to show them how to run. But instead they showed me how to not take myself too seriously, and enjoy the moment. Instead, I was the sourpuss acting like a petulant child that can’t have her way.
It took us an hour to finish the race. And I was blaming myself for everyone having such a high time. I mean, I really felt like shit!! All day Saturday, and Sunday. But then yesterday afternoon I remembered that we used up a lot of time at the donut stations eating, and posing for pics. DUH!!
So that made me feel a bit better!
Today, someone suggested we do another 5k. Max’s Race next month. I believe it’s the last weekend of the month. And this race happens to be the first 5k I ever ran back in 2009! So it holds a specail place in my heart.
Can I tell ya’ll how much I want to be able to run this race straight through, and not only show the others, but myself as well, that I am well capable of running the entire thing? Yes, yes….my ego is rearing its ugly head again.
But ya’ll know how much I’m struggling with this “old lady” image I have as myself. And I really don’t want to be a crickety old lady. I want to show everyone how youthful I still am. I want to show MYSELF how youthful I still am inside. That I’m well capable!!
We’ll see how the other’s feel about this race. I really would like to do it. The first time I did it I ran the entire way. I can do it again. I know I can!!
Yes…I knew the camera was there. Lol!